I feared...

I feared being alone,
until I learned to like myself.
I feared failure,
until I realized that I only fail when I don't try.
I feared success,
until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.
I feared people's opinions,
until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.
I feared rejection,
until I learned to have faith in myself.
I feared pain,
until I learned that it's necessary for growth.
I feared the truth,
until I saw the ugliness in lies.
I feared life,
until I experienced its beauty.
I feared death,
until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning.
I feared my destiny,
until I realized that I had the power to change my life.
I feared hate,
until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.
I feared love,
until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.
I feared ridicule,
until I learned how to laugh at myself.
I feared growing old,
until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.
I feared the future,
until I realized that life just kept getting better.
I feared the past,
until I realized that it could no longer hurt me.
I feared the dark,
until I saw the beauty of the starlight.
I feared the light,
until I learned that the truth would give me strength.
I feared change,
until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.

Climbing to the top cuz' I can.

Your thoughts affect your feelings, your feelings affects your actions, 
and your actions affect a lot of what happens to you. 
So doesn't it make sense to start out with positive thoughts?

Things are bound to change....

Things are bound to change.......

I just wanted to hold on a little longer.

Dysfunctional friends movie quote

"Over the years I constantly tried to get us all together. 

Thinking that we can still kick it like old times, keep the same relationships, interact the same way.

It took me some time to realize that the past is called the past for a reason.

I accepted that I needed to live in the present and look forward to the future. 

Why should you try to relive a moment in your life you've already experienced?

Go places you've already been? Life is about discovering...

I accepted that everybody moves on and I realized that, that's not such a bad thing.

My dysfunctional friends"

-I love this quote, because it explains my life.

Done done done :)

I'm done done done.....for now at least :)

My life.

So long,
Farewell
Hello, to the new me.
The better me.
That's right.
My Life...


20, and I've realized,
everything you want's not meant to be.
20 then you qualify,
to stand up to responsibilities.
So I tried to prioritize,
by deciding what I know is best for me.


So I set sail emotion,
I say, 
So long, farewell.
My life's moving forward.
My ship has sailed,
and I'm so glad it's over.
My heart is well,
after all that I've been through
I found myself.


21, I hope that I'm with someone who truly cares for me.
If I'm not, I'll be alright, 
I'll accept the time I know God has for me.
One day I'll be the perfect wife.
That's my destiny,
and I won't be afraid to try...


I'm looking out for me,
taking care of my needs.
Life isn't guaranteed,
it's time to start living.
It won't always be the same,
can't be afraid of change.
You wanna have your way,
demand till you're satisfied.
Don't lower you're self esteem,
you gotta live your dream.
It's all bout confidence,
to let them know that you can stand up.
You never try,
learn to express you mind.
Sometimes you gotta fight,
it's your life so don't you give up.

Positive thinking

Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best thing to happen every time, 

it’s about accepting that whatever happens is good for this moment, 

and then making the best of it. 

So stay positive, and hold on to what’s truly important. 

Let your worries go. 

No matter how you look at it, some outcomes just don’t make sense right away. Choosing to carry on with your goals through this uncertainty is what matters. 

I need the courage to think like this....

Will it happen or not...

I wanna know what's gonna happen to me in 2 months...

What to do???

What do you do 

  when you want something so bad,

           but you can't get it?

For a better future.

Soon it'll all be over and then I just have to wait.

Life gets boring

Never be afraid to try something new because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.

A new life

You want a new life, but you take the one you get every morning for granted.

How happy I was in Malaysia.

Looking back at how happy I was in Malaysia.

It was the most amazing experience ever!!

I really wish to come back one day.

It's nice to remember the times you felt true happiness.

It's temporary

It's all temporary...
the pain,
the loss,
the hurt,
the fear,
the insecurity,
it's all temporary.

Ain't it cold when the one you love lets you go, 
and you got nowhere else to go. 
It's cold on the other side yes I know.

What's next?

I've made a lot of mistakes.

So what's next for me???

You're not on the right path.

If the path you're on is making you live a destructive life. 
Then you're not on the right path.
Just saying...

It hurts

It hurts to know all the things that could have been...

My existence depends on this.

If everything goes as planned I will be the happiest girl alive.
But if everything doesn't then my life is screwed (POINT BLANK PERIOD)

What's worse?

I don't even know what's worse. 

To be completely ignored or to be blamed.

That extra attention.

Those little things I needed to get me through the day before,

are the same things I need today. 

Yes, I'm older and wiser, but that doesn't mean that I'm heartless.

I miss those days

 when getting unconditional love was natural every day. 

I miss those days 

when they were happy to see me smile. 

It's a good thing that...

The pressure to feel good about myself 

is greater than the pressure to ace my exams.

I wish that they knew.

Being loved the right way from when you were a child is so important,  for you to

grow up into a healthy & intellectual adult.

I'm talking about the kind of love that YOU crave, not the kind of love they think you need. 

I'm on my own.

I'm overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and anxiousness.
This is the part where someone needs to step in and do something to make
me feel better. I don't have THAT person in my life. No one I know is good enough to play that role.
My heart breaks everytime I realize how lonely I am.

I don't wanna be judged

The only one looking out for Me is Me.

I'm tired of trying to pretend to be doing OK.

I wanna be able to tell someone that everything is agonizing

 right now,

whithout risking to be judged. 

I wish I had someone who cared.

20 Days left until I'm suppose to show what I'm made of.
The only problem is that it gets hard when your doubting your abilities. And let's face it the odds are not exactly on my "favor". 

Life is so good when you don't have any worries.

She can't see it

How can I tell my best friend that he is NOT interested in her at all???

He does not like you and you're just bothering him.

Truth

You are what you seek.

"today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"

I keep saying to myself that 
"today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday", but it's still not working to calm me down. 

I have thunder hidden inside

When I am silent, I have thunder hidden inside.

Life

Life is change. 
Growth is optional.
Choose wisely. 
Before it's too late.

NO it's not going well at all.

 When it's going downhill and somebody asks you how you're doing.

All you really wanna say is:

 NO I'm not OK.

 NO I'm not doing well.

 NO I will not make it.

But you just fake a smile and reply:

I'm fine and everything is OK with me, thanks for asking.

It's less lonely here

I don't wanna be forced back to reality, 

where nothing ever goes my way.

Tell me why I shouldn't stay where I'm at?

Who said life is easy??

And there she stands alone once again.

I lied.

I lied when I said that it can only get better at this point.

I got it.

"It's either you got it or you don't.

 And I got it!"- Tamar Braxton

It might be

Less than 3 weeks left and I'm still not ready. 

I'm so scared it might me a little too late.

Who am I??

"I'm just trying to find the woman in me"....

Don't hold me Back

When I get back to chasing my dreams,
 anyone that gets in the way shall get ran over.

Britney Spears - I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

I can relate to this song so much now.

"I remember when I was a "kid" and listened to this song and didn't analyze the lyrics that much nor did I understand them that well, now that I'm 20 myself and listen to this song it's funny how suddenly I can relate to this so well right now. Time goes by very fast, enjoy every single moment of it!"

Moving On.

I need to realize that it can only get better at this point. 

I'm in the game.

I almost forgot that I'm still in the game.  

Everybody wants happiness

Everybody wants happiness, 
nobody wants pain,  
but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain....

You say I don care?

You say I don care?
I say I don't care about YOUR stupid rules, but I care about mine.
I don't need to be wherever you want me to be B****!!!

I'm haunted by her...

WOW!

I'm really getting paranoid now.

She's all about me....FREAKY!!

Jayel Spriggs - I got what you want

"I got what you want baby, what you need"

Kelly Rowland - Keep It Between Us

This song and video makes you dream about Love.

I wanna have a relationship like that one day.

Hello wonderful new day!

Hello wonderful new day!

I promise you that I will cherish you because you are valuable to me.

Sweet Dreams to all the colors of the Rainbow

Good Night People from all over the world!

And never forget 

that we are the colors of the Rainbow. 

get back up

When they push you down you've got to get back up.

A doll without emotions.

She is not weak.
She is not stupid.
She is not ignorant.
She is not irresponsible.
She is not worthless.
She is not scared.
She is not ugly.
She is not controlled.
And she is NOT a doll without emotions. 
So please mind what you say in front of her....

Why didn't anyone tell me??

There are certain things in life you need to figure out yourself

 as you go through life.

Problem is I never knew that till I realized how much I've missed.  

I apologize for being human.  

I do wrong

I'm not perfect.

Yes I do wrong!

I always fall short

I went to the bed on top of the world, but today the world is on top of me.
Now everyone got opinions, though they've never been in my position.
Feels like I always fall short of being worthy, cuz' I ain't good enough but He still loves me.

How do you cope with that?

I'm trying to understand my actions,  

but it's like my actions speak for someone else but me.

It's confusing at times.

As much as I wanna make it. 

As much as I wanna fail.

It's confusing at times.

If I can't Escape then I can Dream

But you know I can always go back to my magical world where anything is possible.

I'm stuck in limbo.

Somehow I managed to complicate things so much....
It's like I can't help myself nor can anyone else help me.
I'm stuck in limbo, until I find a way out. 

Put it all behind me

Sometimes I wish I could escape and put it all behind me.
But if I leave then I can never come back again and that's a fact.
I'm lonely now but I'm afraid of being alone if I choose to leave.

I know that

Time flies by too fast.