What's next?

I've made a lot of mistakes.

So what's next for me???

You're not on the right path.

If the path you're on is making you live a destructive life. 
Then you're not on the right path.
Just saying...

It hurts

It hurts to know all the things that could have been...

My existence depends on this.

If everything goes as planned I will be the happiest girl alive.
But if everything doesn't then my life is screwed (POINT BLANK PERIOD)

What's worse?

I don't even know what's worse. 

To be completely ignored or to be blamed.

That extra attention.

Those little things I needed to get me through the day before,

are the same things I need today. 

Yes, I'm older and wiser, but that doesn't mean that I'm heartless.

I miss those days

 when getting unconditional love was natural every day. 

I miss those days 

when they were happy to see me smile. 

It's a good thing that...

The pressure to feel good about myself 

is greater than the pressure to ace my exams.

I wish that they knew.

Being loved the right way from when you were a child is so important,  for you to

grow up into a healthy & intellectual adult.

I'm talking about the kind of love that YOU crave, not the kind of love they think you need. 

I'm on my own.

I'm overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and anxiousness.
This is the part where someone needs to step in and do something to make
me feel better. I don't have THAT person in my life. No one I know is good enough to play that role.
My heart breaks everytime I realize how lonely I am.

I don't wanna be judged

The only one looking out for Me is Me.

I'm tired of trying to pretend to be doing OK.

I wanna be able to tell someone that everything is agonizing

 right now,

whithout risking to be judged. 

I wish I had someone who cared.

20 Days left until I'm suppose to show what I'm made of.
The only problem is that it gets hard when your doubting your abilities. And let's face it the odds are not exactly on my "favor". 

Life is so good when you don't have any worries.

She can't see it

How can I tell my best friend that he is NOT interested in her at all???

He does not like you and you're just bothering him.

Truth

You are what you seek.

"today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"

I keep saying to myself that 
"today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday", but it's still not working to calm me down. 

I have thunder hidden inside

When I am silent, I have thunder hidden inside.

Life

Life is change. 
Growth is optional.
Choose wisely. 
Before it's too late.

NO it's not going well at all.

 When it's going downhill and somebody asks you how you're doing.

All you really wanna say is:

 NO I'm not OK.

 NO I'm not doing well.

 NO I will not make it.

But you just fake a smile and reply:

I'm fine and everything is OK with me, thanks for asking.

It's less lonely here

I don't wanna be forced back to reality, 

where nothing ever goes my way.

Tell me why I shouldn't stay where I'm at?

Who said life is easy??

And there she stands alone once again.

I lied.

I lied when I said that it can only get better at this point.

I got it.

"It's either you got it or you don't.

 And I got it!"- Tamar Braxton

It might be

Less than 3 weeks left and I'm still not ready. 

I'm so scared it might me a little too late.

Who am I??

"I'm just trying to find the woman in me"....

Don't hold me Back

When I get back to chasing my dreams,
 anyone that gets in the way shall get ran over.

Britney Spears - I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman

I can relate to this song so much now.

"I remember when I was a "kid" and listened to this song and didn't analyze the lyrics that much nor did I understand them that well, now that I'm 20 myself and listen to this song it's funny how suddenly I can relate to this so well right now. Time goes by very fast, enjoy every single moment of it!"